


How the Strade stole a Grinch

by Madeline69



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels), How the Grinch Stole Christmas! - Dr. Seuss
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 06:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16676338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madeline69/pseuds/Madeline69
Summary: Twas a night down in Whoville not unlike any other,when the poor Grinch is taken, and the Strade has his druthers.Away to his basement, the Strade left in a flash.Would the Grinch survive long enough for a can of Who Hash?





	How the Strade stole a Grinch

All the whos in the bar had their own group of friends

Except for the Grinch, whose night would soon end.

 

He paid for his drinks, short a dollar or two,

He cared not for the life of the bartender who.

 

He was on his way out as he went for his keys,

But noticed them missing, groaning: “Oh please.”

 

He turned back to search, saw a Strade on his knees.

“It would be hard to get into your car without these.”

 

The fob in his hand, he shot the Grinch with a grin,

He stood as he hid them in a pocket within.

 

“Come with me,” said the Strade. “I’ll get you home.”

“You’ve had one too many to get yourself gone.”

 

The Grinch tried to ignore the lopsided rhyme,

Though he was usually careful, he drank too much this time.

 

It was too cold to walk this time of the season.

But, Strade was unscrewed. No one quite knows the reason.

 

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

 

But the Grinch thought ol’ Strade, comparatively tall,

Just thought that Strade’s brain was two sizes too small.

 

“To help out a stranger,” the Grinch thought to himself,

“Was worsley more kind than some dumb Christmas elf.”

 

Climbing into Strade’s car, the Grinch kicked off his sandals,

Not initially noticing the lack of a door-handle.

 

He fell asleep quickly, how much had he drunk?

Strade didn’t mind much, that creepy old hunk.

 

When the Grinch awoke his poor knees felt all sore,

He had been chained up, kneeling, on some concrete floor.

 

He pulled at his chains, but try as he might,

He just couldn’t more, which filled him with fright.

 

The light flickered on, blinding him like a flame.

When his eyes soon adjusted he was cornered by Strade.

 

“I’ve stolen the Grinch,” the Strade did declare.

“Isn’t that subversive?” The Grinch’s temper flared.

 

“Stolen me have you?” The Grinch raved and roared.

“I came with you willingly, in your shoes I’d be bored!”

 

The Strade’s smile faltered, as he turned his back.

The Grinch felt quite satisfied, having delayed his attack.

 

The feeling rushed. The Grinch shouted: “FUCK!”

Strade had a small knife sticking into his gut.

 

“You’re lucky I’m tired, it’s just now begun.”

“If you survive the night then it’ll start to get fun”

 

He flicked off the light as he re-climbed the stairs,

The Grinch was annoyed, but not close to scared.

 

The crafty green slink quickly slipped from his cuffs.

One wound in his stomach was more than enough.

 

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,

He thought up a scheme, and he thought it up quick!

 

He held onto the cuffs, saving them for his captor

“How the Grinch stole a Strade is the name of this chapter”

 

He climbed up the stairs, tip-toe-ing two at a time.

That new freedom feeling made the Grinch feel alive.

 

Strade had fallen asleep, the cuffs slipped around his arms,

He was trapped in an instant, and the Grinch was unharmed.

 

“I’ve stolen the Strade!” The Grinch let his voice boom,

The Strade woke up and panicked, taking in the room.

 

He began to shout: “Ren!” what a desperate NOISE,

“Pathetic” Grinch said. “One more of your toys?”

As the Grinch chuckled softly, in walked a who boy,

His hair was like fire, two fox ears deployed.

 

This Ren was a cute one, not unlike his Max

The Grinch decided he was taking Ren back.

 

The who boy attacked but was held off with ease.

“Treat your new owner with more respect please.”

 

The Grinch ignored Ren though, a knife in his hands,

“Sorry dear Strade, this is where your life ends.”

 

The Grinch felt no remorse as the knife dived through Strade’s chest.

There was blood and some guts and, well, you know the rest.

 

He ignored Strade’s cries and took in his new Ren.

This house was quite nice, “I might keep this den.”

 

“As for you, twinky fox boy, I have a request.”

“Some roast beast, and pronto.” was his first behest.

 

The Ren dashed off quickly, returned with a feast.

He kneeled down and offered Grinch the beast.

 

“Tell me young thing,” The Grinch said with a smile.

“Who is this strange Strade?” settling in for a while.

 

“The Strade is my friend. He took me like you.”

“Now that he’s dying, I don’t know what to do.”

Of all of the things to come out of this who,

The last thing the Grinch expected was BOO-HOO

 

“That monster’s your friend?” The Grinch said, getting mad.

“I stole a whole Christmas and I’m not even that bad.”

 

“He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel kept.”

“He might be a meanie, but he’s made life the best!”

“And sure, he can rub you an awful kind of way,”

“But the day we two met was my life’s best day!”

 

The cement left his Grinch-feet ice-cold like the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"

"He’s got you in shackles, all you’re short of’s a tag!"

"He flies off in an instant, he’s cut you to rags!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe love," he thought, "doesn't change if your dom makes you sore."

"Maybe the Strade's love meant a little bit more!"

 

Like a who kept a dog, the Strade could keep a who.

It was then that the Grinch knew, exactly just what to do.

“Ren! Your collar, please tell me there’s two.”

Ren nodded and nodded and was looking less blue.

 

He left in a flash, and the Grinch went to work,

If he could make a Santy-suit he could stitch up this jerk.

 

Soon enough Strade stopped bleeding, gently stirring from sleep.

“Good news Mr. Strade, I know you play for keeps.”

“I get your game now, your attack cut me deep.”

The Strade noticed his necklace, did not let a peep.

 

And so it was said, on love the Grinch did feast,

taking delight in carving up that Strade beast. 

 


End file.
